Life is way to short to not be happy.

My son knew how much each and everyone loved him.   He just didn't know how to be happy.   I hope he is happy now in heaven.   Looking down on all of us smiling and happy that life for us goes on and he will be waiting for us on the other side.   I hope that you will be on the other side with us! 

We almost had 20 years....

This Saturday would have been your 20th birthday!   Honey the day you were born was the happiest day of my life.   I miss you dearly.   Watch for the balloons... they are coming your way on Saturday.   We are trying to heal but it seems to get harder instead of easier.   Just know I love you more than anything and I always will.   Love Mom

Struggling

It seems I've been struggling a lot lately.   I guess 1 emotion triggers another and then it's all downhill from there.   Nana says I don't cry enough, but I try not to cry in front of her because I don't want her to worry.   Some things never change!   So I'm danged if I do and danged if I don't!   We went to the cemetary and put sod down on the grave.   It was just a mud pit and it looks so nice.   There are 2 nightlights now, one for you and one for Coach Ham.   Thought you would like them they look like golfballs on a tee.   Wil, Brookie and Lizzie have decorated the tree beside you with plenty of football Easter eggs!   They enjoy doing that for you.  We all miss you my precious son.  

My Valentine

Bo,
Jen and I went and place flowers on your grave on Saturday.  It was hard for both of us!   She misses you!   Life is not the same and it never will be, but we get through it together.   There is a beautiful "Sun Stone" on your grave.   Not sure where it came from but is sure is lovely.   I find comfort there which is so not the norm for me.   I've always not been much on the cemetery but somehow it's different now.  I love and miss my valentine.   Mom.

Weather and Moods related?

All the rain and snow is getting to me!    A week of sunshine and I'm sure I wouldn't be so gloomy.  I'm ready for spring now!   Roxie is ready too!   She would like more walks and less of the shivering!   Poor puppy has been as depressed as me.   She still loves to lay on Bo's bed, but she missing having him there with her!  Maybe we will have sun by the weekend.   Come on SUN!

Things are still raw

After 2 months, do things fade? Do the feelings of emptiness go away. I can tell you no. Emptiness is always there. I can smile and laugh. Do I feel guilty, sometimes, but he wouldn't want me too. If anyone loved to laugh and be happy it was Bo! So my goal is to smile everyday even through my tears.